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BSA stands for Bankrupted by Sexual Assault

The Boy Scouts of America literally did so much sexual assault that its bankrupting them. Also, we made a mammoth meatball, Chipotle is a union buster, we got a look at some Zelda gameplay and more

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Imagine doing so much child sexual assault that you bankrupt a nationwide organization

The Boy Scouts of America is going bankrupt while paying out a $2.5 billion settlement to tens of thousands of victims of sexual assault from within the organization.

The BSA will continue to operate and will hold on to most of its property and whatnot, but will be a bit more strapped for cash.

Because of the whole…

yknow…

"sexually assaulting tens of thousands of children" thing

We made a mammoth meatball

A lab-grown meat company named Vow has made a meatball of lab-grown mammoth meat. Like, woolly mammoth.

The team at Vow basically took some mammoth DNA, isolated the part that mostly controls flavor, sprinkled a bit of modern elephant DNA where they had some gaps, then shoved that in some animal cells and let it grow for a couple of weeks. On the other end of the process: a mammoth meatball.

I know the question you have. I am very sorry. The official reporting says that nobody has yet tasted it. Bummer, I know.

Chipotle is a blatant union buster, got caught, and is now forced to pay out to employees they fucked over

Chipotle is going to pay out $240,000 to employees from a store location which was shut down due to an employee attempt to unionize. At a store in Maine, employees filed a union election petition. SUDDENLY, NO MORE STORE. Strange, that.

The NLRB then stepped in and was like "ayo, that's not okay" and now, in addition to the payout, Chipotle has to give the sacked employees preference in hiring at other locations, and has to post signs in their locations explicitly stating that they wont attempt to subvert unionization efforts.

I bet that's totally gonna set 'em straight. Right? RIGHT?

There was a shooting

There was a shooting. Multiple children were murdered in their school. The media is going apeshit over the circumstances around the shooting. The president has said this should stop, and the two major political parties in America are pointing to reasons why they can't do anything about it.

So, more or less a normal day in Free Country USA

NEVERMIND THAT, LET'S TALK ABOUT ZELDA

Nintendo showed about 10 minutes of gameplay from the upcoming Zelda game called "Tears of the Kingdom"—also sometimes referred to as "Breath of the Wild 2"

They didn't show off much to give away story stuff, but they did show off some fancy and VERY Nintendo-y mechanics. Specifically, it seems the big theme this time around is "smoosh shit together and see what happens!"

In Tears of the Kingdom, you'll be able to do a whooooole lotta combining stuff. Take a stick, combine it with a rock, now you have a mace. Take an arrow, combine it with a monster eye, now you have a homing arrow.

Combinations seem to be both a way to "craft" while also sorta being a way to enchant stuff. Plop a frosty elemental thing onto an arrow to get freezing arrows, for example. And NOTABLY: the gameplay preview seemed to imply that you could combine an arrow with meat, and they did NOT show us what that does. Considered my interest piqued.

The other type of combining stuff that you can do is making contraptions. Looks like you'll be able to smoosh together objects that are laying around to make all sorts of creations, from powered rafts to flying machines and more.

All in all, I can safely report that there were exactly zero children murdered in their school in this gameplay preview.

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Jamie Larson
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