By Endeavorance in News — Feb 5, 2024

Gobbling Knobs with Norman Reedus

We pulled a rodent out of a stump to predict the weather. Farmers in the EU have made their voices heard. Hideo Kojima attacks me, specifically. The US is jealous that someone else likes drone strikes.

Pulled From His Slumber

Gobbler's Knob. I mean, it's called Gobbler's Knob. That's where they keep Punxsutawney Phil: a groundhog with the ability to see the future—as far as weather patterns go.

If you're not familiar with one of the weirder holidays in the United States, "Groundhog Day" is a celebration where some dudes in tuxedos pull a groundhog out of a stump and ask it if it sees its shadow so we know if spring will come soon.

It's a real thing. Like, it's a REAL REAL thing, and it rules, and is also the dumbest shit, and is also a perfect example of humans just being fucking weird.

Anyway, he did not see his shadow, which is surprising because he almost always sees his shadow, and so we're looking at an early spring, y'all. You heard it here.

Source: Magical Groundhog

Farmers Fury

Farmers in France and increasingly across the EU have been striking and protesting for weeks, blocking roads with farm equipment and generally causing a ruckus for their governments who wish they would just shut up and be happy with the scraps they get.

As we look towards a future where we hopefully have a planet, governments are cracking down on agriculture with taxes and regulations. It's an understandable move, though ignores the fact that we have spent decades going from "agriculture" to "agribusiness" and now expect that to just invert by punishing the people left holding the bag. They're basically saying "okay, farmers. We know we created a situation where you're basically being screwed, but deal with it."

Instead of helping to cover costs and supplement income during a difficult—if critical—transition, they are basically just saying "stop using pesticides and also here's some higher taxes. Farm better."

Fed-up farmers began to strike and protest, spreading from France to Italy and beyond. Now, we're seeing some movement, as two farmers unions in France have called for a suspension of the protests as talks have moved forward with the government.

We're nowhere near where we should be, of course. These people are critical workers who have been jerked left and right, blamed for climate change and thrown under the bus, when all they want is a reasonable direction to move towards and some financial stability.

Kojima, Please Just Let Me Rest

Sony held their "State of Play" stream, showing off a bunch of new games from some game companies and also from Hideo Kojima.

The games they showed off looked pretty good, and they also showed some trailers of things that Hideo Kojima is doing, such as releasing "Death Stranding 2: On the Beach" which is the sequel to the Norman Reedus-based post apocalyptic Amazon delivery sim "Death Stranding" and, presumably, is on the beach. Perhaps we will travel further to even more remote and mysterious places, such as Gobbler's Knob.

Pictured: Norman Reedus seeking the rodential wisdom only found at Gobbler's Knob

Hideo Kojima also announced a new IP called "PHYSINT," which is more in his original wheelhouse of the action-espionage genre, as his original Metal Gear franchise was.

Anyway, there's gonna be a bunch of games coming out, such as the Silent Hill 2 remake, Rise of the Ronin by Team Ninja, and a whole bunch of others.

But also Sony's reps went on stage and pledged financial backing to Hideo Kojima's continued assault on me, specifically. So, mixed bag.

If you do not understand why I am speaking this way, you're telling me that you have not played Metal Gear Solid 2.

Drone Strikes Are for US ONLY

The United States is bombing Iraq and Syria—one of our national pastimes.

After three (3) US service members were killed by a drone strike reportedly orchestrated by Iran-backed militias, the US leveraged drones and bombers to make hundreds of strikes against nearly as many targets.

According to ~~famed Nintendo character~~ John Kirby, a national security boy:

The goal here is to get these attacks to stop. We’re not looking for a war with Iran.

The Biden administration is patting itself on the back saying they did a lot of good here by taking steps to avoid all out war while still bombing the ever-loving shit out of the middle east. Meanwhile, the Republicans have been criticizing ol' Joe, saying he hasn't gone far enough to retaliate against Iran.

We may not have federal abortion rights, affordable college or reasonable healthcare, but we sure can bomb things good.

Today's Moon Phase

Today's moon phase is a years-overdue library book that you just found while you were cleaning out a box of old stuff.

I would recommend you return it, but the library you borrowed it from likely doesn't exist anymore.

Here's the Weather

Source: VentuSky