The perfect crime
A man has been caught in the midst of the crime of the century: stealing 200,000 Cadbury Creme Eggs. Local officials note that this was not a crime on a whim, but instead took "significant planning."
But fear not: The eggs were unharmed and are in a good enough condition to go back to the supply line.
Rust to resume filming despite literal manslaughter charges
Rust, the movie in which Alec Baldwin shot and killed a person on set and is now facing manslaughter charges, is going to resume filming. With Alec Baldwin, specifically. There's not many details as to what their plan is with the whole "your lead actor has been charged with manslaughter" thing.
Ohio still in a bad way
Ohio is not doing super well and probably won't be for a while. The train derailment disaster seemingly keeps getting worse as more info comes out. We now know that the train was intentionally not marked as holding hazardous material, seemingly to circumvent some pesky red tape. This is on top of the already known lack of improvement to infrastructure and employee well-being.
The Ohio governor has stated that the company at fault, Norfolk Southern, will cover the damages, but that does not seem to be a thing that's gonna just happen.
Still, lawsuits are beginning to roll in, and local residents are demanding more action be taken before returning to their homes, and rightfully so. A multi billion dollar company shirked safety measures to make a buck, and untold ecological disaster has ensued. This has never happened before, ever ever.
Oopsie, we missed
So about all those unidentified floaty bois that we've been shooting out of the sky as a national pastime over the past few weeks? Well, turns out that the US Air Force missed a shot at one of them, resulting in essentially wasting $400,000 of equipment.
Twitter algorithm revealed: It just shows you Elon's tweets
So it was only a few days ago that I told you about how Elon Musk fired an engineer after being told people are over his shit. Now, a bunch of Twitter users noticed that their Twitter homepage was largely just Elon Musk tweets. Like, a lot of 'em.
So much so that Elon himself has essentially confirmed this to be a real thing, posting that they're going to look into the "uh... algorithm"
Turns out, Elon demanded this change and Twitter employees, afraid of losing their job, set up a system to promote Elon's tweets, marking all of his tweets as more "important and good" than anyone else's in the eyes of The Algorithm.
I guess one way to boost Elon's view counts is to just make his account the only one anyone ever sees.